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KUALA LUMPUR: Many parents do not know how to set the limits with their children, which led to families spending too much time playing with gadgets.

A professional counsellor with more than 30 years working with families, John Philip Louis said many parents are afraid of engaging confrontation with their children.

“And because they themselves do not set the right example as they are also hooked with the gadgets, parents don’t have the conviction to tell off their kids.

“They are also unaware of the harm that comes with this,” he said in a press conference at Taylor's University Lakeside Campus recently.

Louis, who holds a masters in counseling from Monash University in Melbourne, said research has shown that the number one thing that comes when people are hooked with gadgets is that their level of empathy will go down without them realising it.

He calls on parents to set reasonable limit as one of the core emotional needs, alongside connection and acceptance, healthy autonomy and performance, and realistic expectations.

"Research has shown that when core emotional needs are not met during the formative years of a child, schemas (lifetraps) will develop,” said John, a certified schema therapist and member of the International Society for Schema Therapy.

Louis is the author of the 'Good Enough Parenting’ book, which explains why meeting the core emotional needs is absolutely crucial for raising emotionally healthy and spiritually minded children.

Louis, a Malaysian who hails from Taiping, also conducts parenting workshops under the same title.

'The Good Enough Parenting' workshop offers a step-by-step guide on how parents can learn to meet these core emotional needs, provide parenting that is 'good enough' to avoid exasperation, prevent schemas from developing in their children and weaken schemas already present.

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